My Wife, My Mountain, My Miracle

LOVE

In July 2017, I met the woman of my dreams while trekking Mt. Romelo in the Philippines.

As magical as the mountain and Buruwisan Falls itself — the name of the famous waterfall there — we fell in love at first sight, became a couple a few months later, and got married in the summer of 2022.

It was the happiest moment of our lives as a couple if you’ll ask me, and one that we’ll surely never forget.

I remember the moment the church door opened for her and the way she slowly walked towards me, together with her Mama and Papa.

The smell of roses filling the aisle is a reminder for me of every moment we spent together and a fragrant echo of every conversation and dream we had under the stars during our adventures.

I thought, “Here is a woman who is giving her life for me.”

Her dreams and aspirations, her future, even her body — she’s entrusting everything to me now by getting married to me, and truth be told, I’m overwhelmed with fear if I ever deserve her at all.

What if I fail her as her husband?

What if I didn’t live up to her expectations?

What if I’m not enough?

I’m saying all of this because it would be a lie if I told you everything is just about love when you’re getting married, and that I didn’t have any cold feet during the wedding.

I had so many questions on my mind at that time that I wanted to stop time if I could.

Not to run away, of course, but only to breathe a little. Think. Recuperate. And understand the weight of our decisions.

The enormity of the commitment we were about to make.

Somehow, there is this great fear of the unknown inside of me. And I saw it in the eyes of our guests, in the waiting, and in the summer’s heat.

This is plunging into something big. And it would surely take a lot of growth and maturity from both of us, I know, for us to survive this.

Are we really ready?

Thankfully when she arrived at me and I held her hand, we smiled at each other, and it felt right. My mind cleared up and all my questions got their answers.

Love seems to have this unique way of making all fears and doubts disappear.

More than an Agreement

Today, marriage is treated like a simple civil partnership or contract between two people. In most countries, if it doesn’t work out, either party can quickly file for divorce and end their marriage legally.

However, this is not the case in the Philippines. We are the only country in the world, aside from the Vatican, where divorce is not legal.

Marriage, here, is a lifelong commitment and a decision that one must not enter into lightly.

There are plenty of responsibilities and changes that one should be prepared for before marriage, on top of the long list of cultural expectations that are intricately woven into every Filipino couple’s lives.

When we got married, my wife changed her last name to my last name; we moved and lived in a community in my hometown, away from her family and home, and she changed her religion from being a born-again Christian, to Roman Catholic.

Her career and ambitions were also affected, as two months after our wedding, we found out she was already pregnant with our first baby.

She’s supposed to fly out of town for months for a major project, but she refused that and decided she’d be a full-time housewife and would breastfeed our baby for up to two years (or more if the baby still wants it).

She promised me this one night that she would take care of our baby and me for as long as she lives because, for her, this is part of her vow when we got married.

It’s an understatement to say I am equally humbled and amazed by her decision.

It didn’t sound weak or submissive to me, or that she was forgetting that she’s also human and must have personal dreams of her own.

She’s not being dumb for letting a great opportunity go.

Rather, it feels to me like love, being unconditional, as it should be.

It’s as if she has taken the word “wife and mother” in her heart without questions, and decided to outrightly live it.

Seeing this unwavering commitment and the depth of love she has for our family has taught me something profound.

The Greatest Treasure

Nowadays, you may feel that relationships are disposable.

Even in our country, where divorce isn’t legal and family ties are greatly valued, I’ve seen many couples who have separated despite support, and many children abandoned only to be taken care of by their grandparents.

These couples think that marriage is not worth keeping after a series of mistakes and compatibility issues.

They expect their marriage to serve them, instead of them serving their marriage.

It’s already rare and precious to find a love that doesn’t waver in the face of hardships, that embraces sacrifice, and that chooses “us” over “me.”

So if you’re fortunate enough to find a love like this, a love that inspires you and challenges you to be your best self, a love that makes you feel truly cherished and supported, never let it go. It is your miracle.

Hold on to it tightly, like it’s the greatest treasure you’ll ever hold, and always be grateful for it.

If you could, try to write a Medium story about that someone as well. And make people read about the greatest love story your life has experienced.

I assure you.

Unconditional love is more valuable than anything else you might find in this lifetime.